Clinical Contributor
Amy Villano, Senior Director of NJ Recovery Services
You’ve just found out that your teenaged child is using substances. Depending on your beliefs about substance use, you may experience a variety of emotions and reactions to this discovery, including:
- Denial: “Not my kid” or “It must be a mistake”
- Indifference: “Kids experiment, it’s just a phrase” or “It’s just pot”
- Panic: “They ruined their life!” or “They need inpatient care!”
- Insecurity: “What will people think?” or “Am I a bad parent?”
It's important to keep a clear head and focus on getting your teen the help they need. Adolescence represents a critical, at-risk period for substance use initiation, but is also an opportune time to intervene and prevent behaviors from developing into more acute health problems. Not all adolescents who experiment with drugs and alcohol will develop a substance use disorder; however, all psychoactive substances have negative effects on the still-developing adolescent brain. By taking steps to address your teen's use, we can prevent substance use from boiling over into a bigger problem.
Talking to Your Teen
Developing open, trusting communication between you and your child is essential to helping them address their substance use. If your child feels comfortable talking openly with you, you'll have a greater chance of guiding him or her toward healthy decision making. Here are some ways to begin:
1. Open a dialogue with your teen about your concerns, ensuring that the conversation is non-confrontational and empathetic.
2. Give your teen a chance to speak and listen attentively. Pay attention not just to their words, but also to their body language. This will help you understand their perspective and respond appropriately.
3. Don’t make assumptions about why your teen is using and encourage them to tell you how they think and feel by avoiding questions that have a simple “yes” or “no” answer.
4. Control your emotions. If you hear something you don’t like, try not to respond with anger. Instead, take a few deep breaths and acknowledge your feelings in a constructive way.
Approaching Solutions
Now, it may feel overwhelming and what to do next can feel difficult to navigate. Don’t panic. There are services and programs designed to help individuals struggling with substance use disorders, including prevention, treatment, and recovery support. It’s important to access these services, as they can support individuals in overcoming addiction, provide mental health support and holistic care, and promote overall well-being and community health.
The types of available services vary and are based on an evaluation of your teen’s use and contributing psychosocial factors:
- Prevention Services: Include education programs, awareness campaigns, school-based programs.
- Treatment Services: Consist of inpatient and outpatient rehab programs with counseling and therapy (individual or group).
- Recovery Support Services: Include support groups (e.g., AA, NA), peer support services, and aftercare.
Your Next Steps
- Research local services and identify treatments available to you and your teen. This may consist of early intervention and outpatient programs, community-based resources, helplines (e.g., National Helpline for Substance Abuse), local clinics, treatment centers, or hospitals.
- Educate yourself about substance use and treatment to better understand your teen’s journey. This will help you provide the necessary support and make informed decisions for their recovery.
- Support your teen during treatment. Once your teen is in a treatment program, continue to provide emotional support. Encourage your teen to participate fully in the program and communicate regularly about their progress.
- Consider participation in support networks which include peer support, family counseling, and other recovery tools.
Be sure to work with your teen throughout this process, walking them through the steps you are taking to help them. Clear communication, openness, and vulnerability are key to helping an individual struggling with substance use.
Conclusion
Discovering that your teen has been using substances can be a stressful and confusing time. It’s important to take a deep breath and remember the following key components to helping your loved one:
Seeking Help is the First Step: Acknowledge the need for support and take action.
A Range of Services Exist: There is no “one-size-fits-all,” especially in substance use treatment. Research what is available to your child and find the right fit for them.
Support is Available and Confidential: No one should face addiction alone, and confidential resources, including professional treatment programs, support groups, and crisis hotlines, are available to provide guidance and support without judgment.
Acenda's NJ4S and Recovery Services Teams are here to offer support, guidance, and tools to parents and teens.
For more information on our ARISE program or to make an appointment, please contact our Access Center at 844-422-3632 ext. 9500.
Clinical Contributor
Amy Villano, LPC, ACS, MBA is the Senior Director of NJ Recovery Services at Acenda Integrated Health. She has been with the agency since August 2021. She holds a master's degree in Addiction Counseling and an MBA in Healthcare Management, both from Farleigh Dickinson University. Villano previously co-wrote a blog titled Peer Specialists in Mental Health & Substance Use Fields for Acenda's Mental Health Resource Center.