The “Real” in Relationships: Revealing Truths and Misconceptions
If you think the phrase “happily ever after” is real, you might be setting yourself up for problems in your relationship with your significant other. Relationships are an investment and take a lot of hard work to keep up, and not going into the relationship with realistic expectations can have negative consequences down the road.
Here are five common relationship misconceptions:
Falling in love is easy.
It’s keeping a relationship going that’s the hard part. So many of us idealize the love stories we see on the movie screen, but that’s not real life. Couples quarrel and come up against obstacles throughout their relationships. It’s how you work through these that determine if love will last. Good relationships require work.
We all have heard this saying over and over again. There is some truth in it, for example, someone who is very outgoing sometimes picks a partner that is more introverted, and things work out just fine. Or, someone who tends to more anxious will choose someone calming as their partner. Sometimes choosing someone with different qualities works well, but there is also a positive side to having similar interests and personalities. Enjoying the same hobbies can bring fulfillment to both individuals by allowing them to each enjoy doing activities together that they both like. People are also attracted to those with similar attitudes, values and beliefs, which can make for a stronger relationship. It really depends on the individual couple.
No need for apologies if you’re in love.
Remember in the movie, “Love Story,” when Ali McGarw said those famous words to Ryan O’Neill, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry”? Well, that’s far from the truth. In fact, it’s just the opposite. Love means that when you make a mistake, you apologize. Or if you are just having a bad day and aren’t the nicest person to be around, you acknowledge that. Your partner will see the best of you and the worst of you. If one or both of you have trouble with apologies, either giving or accepting them, you can work on it together.
Getting married or having a baby will solve your relationship problems.
This is not necessarily the case, and in fact, these big decisions can often put a new strain on the relationship. Many individuals think that their partner will be more committed to them if they have a ring on their finger or are connected by a baby. If someone doesn’t want to be in the relationship, a marriage certificate or baby is not going to keep them from straying. And, having a baby may actually create new issues and add to ones already existing in the relationship. Couples should look at what is happening within their current relationship before making important life decisions.
If you loved me, you would know what I need.
No one can read your mind and know exactly what you are thinking. Therefore, it’s so important to express your thoughts and feelings with your partner. Open communication is the best policy, and healthy for your relationship. If your partner doesn’t know what is bothering you or what you need to feel fulfilled in the relationship, you won’t be able to work through the issues.
It’s not easy maintaining a strong relationship. We all go into our partnerships with good intentions, but sometimes things go awry. Not only are we not learning what we need to know, we are learning relationship myths that can actually keep us from being happy. If you find yourself unable to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner, counseling may be a helpful resource for you. Call our main number at 844-4-ACENDA (844-422-3632) for more information about services through our Counseling & Wellness Centers.